Save by showing your college hometown pride. It is not welcome here.
Off-Third is WSN’s satire column.
To prepare for the arrival of the newly admitted class of 2027, NYU is stepping up its merch game with a new streetwear line that’s revolutionizing student merchandise. Instead of showing admiration for the university, the new line announced this week clearly expresses anti-NYU sentiment.
NYU’s merchandising team works tirelessly with artists across Manhattan to capture the authentic a disdainful New York attitude. Some of the featured images include phrases such as “NYU students destroyed New York,” “I’m paying $80,000 to pretend I’m a New Yorker.” and “Ruby Hall ruined my life”.
Other images depict various NYU symbols in a negative and sometimes violent light. A sweatshirt depicting the 8th St–NYU subway station sign has the mention of the university angrily crossed out in red. Another has a NYU torch setting the lynx mascot on fire.
According to the head of merchandising, the department created the campaign to help NYU students feel more accepted in the city. A statement released with the merchandise filing said, “To be seen as true New Yorkers, students must be willing to actively express their hatred for the school they attend.”
The harsh truth is that no matter how much attending NYU means to you, you will never get the full respect of the locals in NYU attire. Their distaste for the university surpasses all. After construction, the newly opened Paulson Center finally closed, leaving one resident explained that the new crowds “completely blocked street traffic.”
One freshman recalled, “One day I got on a subway car wearing an NYU sweatshirt and the whole crowd waiting on the platform turned to me and told me they wanted me dead.” Another student explained, “I made the mistake of wearing an NYU shirt on the way to class and four people tried to mug me.” Even simply wearing purple is reportedly enough to make you the next victim of stares, snide comments and public humiliation.
The merchandise is in line with NYU’s new Welcome initiative, which aims to teach students to behave more calmly in New York. Some of the featured welcome workshops include “How not to act like an NYU student while at NYU” and “How to post about New York normally online.” These courses, along with these new designs, are designed to give students the tools they need to fit right into the city.
Being a college student is hard, but constantly trying to prove that you’re not a college student in your college town while still showing school pride is next to impossible. While our campus is a city, the city is more than just our campus. On the streets near Washington Square, students who want to blend in avoid wearing NYU merchandise. Luckily, students can blend in seamlessly with this new design alongside their discreet purple laces and giant Fjällräven backpacks.
NYU’s commitment to customizing its merchandise is a testament to the university’s commitment to making its students feel comfortable and better suited to life in the city. Once again, NYU is taking the initiative by identifying important problems and then actually fixing them by doing something.
The Opinion section of WSN aims to publish ideas worthy of discussion. The opinions presented in the Opinion section are solely those of the writer.
Contact Lily Ritterman-Peña at [email protected]